:::Wednesday, March 30, 2005:::
[Its going to be a long blog @ 2:18 AM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
Well.. This is the new version of my blog.. as promised.. but abit late right? i mention that it was to be out by mid march.. but due to my Final year report... It had to be delayed....
Well.. its been over a week since I have blog.. I wonder anyone reads my blog anymore.. I know one person does not read my blog anymore.. To her.. I might have already become someone distant... Someone she would not even think about anymore.. You know how powerful her impact is to me, I could even dream of her breakup with me.. and it keeps on getting worse... I have never dreamt of breakups before.. but she is the first person.. Well, she has been my first in alot of things also.. I wonder if she ever remembers...
Good news... NTU accepted me into EEE(Electronic and Electrical Engineering). Well.. I'm not too sure that is what I want. I'm hoping to apply to SMU to take Business Information Technology (BIT) Well... At least I got into Singapore U.. Car Car here I come.. hahah... :)
Exams ended on monday.. .I wonder was it I panic or was my body suffering from the reaction from the Milo that I had in the morning.. I have this problem.. I can get "High" with Milo.. my body will tremble onces the Milo effect wears off.. It only occurs to certain time and certain condition with certain brands of milo.
So many things to write.. yet nothing is in my mind now to write... As I listen to Gundam Seed OST, River. Oh Ya.. the blog skin was created with inspiration with that song. For me to do Websites, I need music to do it. It gets me to the write mood and activates my Creative mood.
Today my Grandma got admitted to hospital for high blood pressure and chest pain complains. haiz... She is already 72 yrs old. I cannot afford to see another death in the family.. Please god. Let her be able to carry her great grandson.
Strangly I think my family (Mum's Side) has serious psychological problems. My Grandma gets into fights and gets paranoid very easily. My First Aunt is "MAD" and my Second Aunt always thinks she is fat or she is sick and always have migranes. Haiz... My mother, a very anti-social person. Wonder what have got over everyone.. Will I end up like that as well?? Hope not.. but only time will tell..
The problems is that my grandma always fights with her neighbour about the noise made by her neighbour's 3 kids.. (Not to mention that they are indians (the older generation are rather racist)) . At the same point of time, she refuse to move over to my place or aunty pats place.. I mean.. this problem can be easily solve, for the short period of time, if she moves over to either one of the place so that it does not agitate her condition.
I'm still very confused with what is life and the future that I want to do. I want to be a paramedic but it will effectively take up the youth years of my life and who knows.. I might be out of job by 40-50 years old as this type of job requires physically fit people and not old people. being at that age, it would be hard to find a job and you would have already wasted almost half of your life.. Damm..
I want to play.. I want to enjoy my last 2 months of freedom. It should have at least 7 more months but due to NS, I only have 2 months.
I want to help Yue Hui.. She has been like me.. very stressed for the past few months and I want to help her to relax but I have no idea how to do so. We have so much difference in what we call relaxsation..
She took a photo of me and god.. I look like shit. I noticed I gained alot of weight and really looked white .. Guess I need to do something about that.
:::Monday, March 21, 2005:::
[Part 2... @ 1:21 AM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
So this is the end of a playing week. really slacked till death.. You know something, there is suppose to be class tomorrow but my leaturer did not mention what class i have to go to.. so stupit... Don't think i will be going for class tomorrow.. But i will work out the questions.
Today was a kinda fun day. Woke up to pass my rank to daniel cos zahara could not get it in time. I went over to Sub center only to find out she did not wear the rank today. But something was different.. I saw all my friends. and my brothers... I am very tempted to return back to SJAB but i can't make up my mind.
After hanging around .. I went home to watch TV and have lunch. I must have ate too much as i fell asleep and woke up only at 7. Thats also pretty much why I am so awake now
Went out at 7 again to meet for lunch, we went to the KFC again and eat buddy meal.I miss this big group outings already... haiz...
Daniel and I went bowling after we went to pasar malam to look at stuff to buy.. he bought alot of clothes while I did not.. Its not because I did not want to but its due tothat they did not have my size :(
Only problem today was that I am thinking of Pei bing again.. I want to go back to her... But would it hurt her more ?? Haiz.. Is the best way of loving her to leave her alone?? God.. I'm selfish.. I dun want to let her go... but... I want her to be happy.. URGH...
:::Sunday, March 20, 2005:::
[Sunday , 15th - 20th March 2005 @ 4:43 PM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
Hmm...Last 5 days was kinda werid for me... Slacked the whole 5 days... went out to catch a movie.. Watch Howl moving castle with panda, wei zhong and Galvin... Interesting that Wei zhong suddenly took out potato chips and drinks from his bac.. *god.. I wonder what kinda of storeage facilities he has at home * . End up I took a pack of potato chips and drank a can of milo... hahah They told me they even at chai peng in the movie theater before. I believe my boldest attempt the smuggle in non-movie friendly food is a 2 pcs chicken meal from KFC with a large tub of Colesaw. Yum...
Made Panda can't study for the last few days.. disturbed him and christine while they were studying and made him watch movie. the rest of the disturbance were caused by his IVP presentation and CC activities.
going to make panda and galvin to join me in taking Basic Theory for Driving.... Man.. I can't wait to drive... Hope I can complete my licence before June.
Went to galvin house before watching Howl's moving castle so that if there was any spare time, we could play X box.. well we didnt cos it was too late.. but still.. I saw galvin's dog and it so FAT!!!!!!! *BTW... Galvin dog is a jack russle. the sparky in sturhub's IDD and Mobile Advertisement in the past.. only difference is that its 5 times that size.. it looked like a sausage!!!*
Spoken to Panda regarding YEC issue. I'm still troubled by it. Should i join, or should i not join. zzz.. Fell asleep while writting this..Daniel and ah dong ask me to have dinner with them.. So sleepy.. but they keep pushing.. so let them have their way bar.
:::Tuesday, March 15, 2005:::
[YAY!!! FYP IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ 1:02 PM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
Hee... Its over... I think i should be able to pass but Not sure if i can get an A for it. *Pray hard* ... Well Now I only have 2 things to hnad.. WISP reflection and WT Examination.. Once these two is finish. I would have finish my polytechnic studies...
Kinda feel bad that made yue hui feel so worried.. I surrended to the sleep monster and did not wake up at 6am this morning.. and slept from 9-11.30 am as well.. hahah.. need lots of sleep to recover..
My specs kinda died before me.. during the final hours of writing my report, my spec broke into half and haha... time to get a new one... I'm now wearing the older one.. the one that you can see in the pictures... going to get the grip hold one instead of the normal hooks... get the one which converts into sun glasses automatically ... yea... new specs ...here i come...
got to sit down and start planning what i want to do in the future and these few months.. I know what i have to do has to suit what i want to do in the future..
maybe i would go into bicycle security business,or join xiong in sell stuff or work with yong wei to start education series or work with adrian to improve my entrepurner skills or work with uncle jim to in the SMS Business ... I'm kinda hmm... no idea what to do.. need to weigh the pros and cons...
I also want to learn how to drive... cannot wait to get in the driver seat... but where to find $$... got to talk to mami... haiz
:::Sunday, March 06, 2005:::
[I'm never trust love again... @ 10:17 PM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
Hmm.. I'm still rather confused... Well.. no matter what it is.. one value that I will carry on.. To finish my FYP Report.. I think I should adopt Yue Hui's mindset.. just do and do and do and do .... and do and do and do.. hack care and just do.. Yue Hui is also like another extemeist ... like me.. we only have right and wrong and never something in the middle.. I think she is quite cool... have the code of conduct..I also want to have mine.. I dun have any control over my life... I want that to change..
Jie xiong was like going i need concelling... maybe.. but its a discovery process.. Let me search my path and when i have got that path. i'm be back..Dj_FoXy V4.1 will be unleased.
Was watching mulian rouge.. i think its the wrong spelling.. at the ending. It told me to love someone like there is no tomorrow.. that was what i didn;t do with peibing... and i lost the confidence to love anyone anymore... I lost my personality by slogging ... now i lost my confidence to love... Maybe that is good, I dun love anyone, i don't hurt anyone..
Its just one more week before everything ends... Just a week left... after that.. its time to understand myself again
:::Saturday, March 05, 2005:::
[I'm Your Angel @ 3:23 PM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
No Mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray
And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day
And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel
:::Tuesday, March 01, 2005:::
[So lost... Just so Confused @ 12:59 AM]
-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-
My mother asked me a question on why did I select such a massive and hard project for my final year project. I thought for a while and I think that this is me.. I don't know what is limit as I don't let a limit limit me.
Ever since Taking the First entrepurer project till now, I have been taking things that is beyond my capability and try to do them .
I don't really feel that bad for not completeing my project.. I have gained knowladge that not much people has. They downloaded the package and libraries for the SMS package while I did it from scratch.. Every single code of it... If I took it the safe way, would i be able to do it?
Take the case of the second store we had, ideas we had, were all beyond our capabilities but we never let ourself limit ourseld because of this reason... The ghost writer book which i wrote on Leadership, time managmement, human resource and telemarketing... They were not my strong topic and I still did them by doing more research and gained knowladge that no one in my age would have..
But why do I have such low productivity and so low moraled in doing the SMS buzz? Am I not interested to do it? Am I not having the desire to do it?
To define something I want to do an something that I need to do.. I have been doing SJAB from a Want to to become a Have to do... lost interest??? could that be the reason as well?
Just so confused by it
