:::Saturday, December 18, 2004:::

[What a lousy day @ 4:55 PM]

-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-

Woke up at 7am in the morning. I was so tired but my tummy hurt quite badly. It felt like someone stabbed me in my tummy. I should be happy that I felt that right? At least I know how dying felt like . I could not even sit up or stand as it felt like there was something like a long pole inside. I pushed myself to the limit and rushed into the toliet. I sat at the toliet bowl for like 30 mins. I couldn't keep myself awake if not for the pain. I have like went into the toliet for like 5 or 6 times already.

I really have no motivation to do anything at all. Not SJAB, Not the book, Not the Final Year Project. I really cannot continue like this anymore. I need support.. I need my beam of support. Something that I have lost over a month. Seriously, I find no reason to be on this world.

I'm just too afraid to re-commit into SJAB. I'm afraid that if I do so, history will repeat himself. again. Haiz.. Suckz Hate living.

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