:::-::-: ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn ..I wIll sUrvIvE.. :-::-:::

:::Sunday, January 01, 2006:::

[1st Day of 2006 @ 5:39 PM]

-=:::ThE ReVoLuTiOn Of WiLsOn...:::=-

Well.. Its really been a long time since I have sincerly blogged... Its a sunday afternoon (Heng today is a Public holiday and I don't have to report back to camp till monday evening at 8pm.) and its raining cats and dogs outside ... hmm.. so much things to blog.. dun know where to start.

I'll start with something personal.. something that someone i know would never come to my blog and see it.. why? cos she is too busy with her own life to even notice my attempts to connect to her.. hey... what is wrong with loving someone... Actually.. I wonder if I even know how to love someone... I know this lady for about 3 yrs... she used to be my course mate in Ngee Ann poly.. When I first met her... I was still in a relationship with my ex... and even thought I was attracted to her, I told myself that I will not leave my ex because of her as my Ex meant more to me and I hate people who would break up a relationship because of a third party.. But what the fuck.. my Ex left me for a third party... I cannot blame her totally.. cos I was also very busy during that time and could not spend as much time as i wanted to with her... come to think about it.. maybe god is really playing with me.. showing me how irresponsible I was by showing me this lady's ability to work her lungs off and forget about everybody.. she is kinda like me... why would i say that? because she like to work.. and her relationship capabilities are about the same as mine... work too much, spends little time with family... doing her NPCC stuff... just like during my time.. doing stuff for the clan, studying, spend very little time with family and SJAB... Its god's way of revenge I tell you.. I see no hope in ever salvaging the situation... Let it go... I tell myself.. Let it go....

Well, BMT phase of my Army life is over and I have been posted to the most unexpected vocation that I would never have expected... COMBAT ENGINEER!!!!! FUCK MAN!!! WHY IN THE HELL AM I DOING IN COMBAT ENGINEERS!!!! I tell you.. Lady luck is definatly not looking at me... First she gives me a fuck up relationship, now give me a fuck up unit... what is next... what is wrong with me!! I tell you... I'm really clueless how did I ever get to this unit.. I failed IPPT, SOC, SISPEC TEST( I think so.. I was the first one to peng san)... they put me into the most garang unit in Singapore.... And I was there only to fill up the numbers... can you imagine.. the whole company of taurus, I am the only one posted to combat engineers... WHY!!!!!!

During Friday's Live range training, when we were to set off the explosive that we were given.. they were lucky to not select me to go to place the demolistions... In the back of my mind, I kept thinking of running to the explosive when they were set off and blow myself up into tiny pieces.. I really can't take it being trapped in the camp!!!... Its like prison.... Man.. those guys in war time are really super powerful to maintain... I wish I could smuggle some explosive out and just bomb myself to death... end this misary once and for all...

I can finally swim... not a fast swimmer nor a strong one.. but at least, I can swim.. tried half a lap of the deep pool... managed to swim back.. nearly drowed... x_X... can you imagine this, After so many attempts to be taught by professionals, I was taught by a friend and self testing over time... what a strange thing..

I would want to stop here... stop thinking about army... Cos I'm really very grief about this situation already.... Below are just a few more point that I'm suppose to write but I'll leave it to some time later..

new yr resolution
inablility to move ahead..
photos